I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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