Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
