I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
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just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
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I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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