he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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