Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We are all done wearing pants today
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
