So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
