I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
