So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
