So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
