Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
