I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
