Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
