Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
