"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Randomize
