I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Randomize
