The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
