Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
