We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i think i have two assholes
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
