What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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