How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
