that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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