Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize