She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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