im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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