the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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