Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
