somebody snuck up and got me drunk
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
