Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
