mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
