Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize