I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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