boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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