soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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