just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
