I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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