So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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