Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
