it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
