Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
