Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
