Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
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can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
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I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize