I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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