he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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