Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
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