How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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