She is in my trunk
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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