if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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