If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
