She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Randomize
