I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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