after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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