Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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