So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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