I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
