i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
