I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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