i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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