I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize