everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
