Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
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You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
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female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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