i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
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I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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