Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
