this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
